Beanca Meer. Graphic designer, and food freak. Fancies shapes. A self-proclaimed music aficionado. Lyrics geek. Loves anything chill. Has a great obsession for cheese. Thinks subject-verb agreement is a remedy. Lesbian-crushing on Emma Stone and Mila Kunis. Has the tendency to make surprise attacks without any reason at all. Hates ketchup and texting. Bipolar and hungry. Everybody's hipster friend.
Been trying to put my words into this the other night. So here it goes:
A few days from now, I will be on the other side of the earth facing a different culture. A culture that I’ve always wanted since I was a kid. I’m finally starting to write a book two of my life’s journey. I’m back to zero.
It’s that moment when you start from scratch, meet new friends and be involved into a different lifestyle.
Yes, it’s not easy to be in this situation especially when you’re leaving half of your family and your closest friends behind, and not even saying goodbye to them personally. It sucks. Like, it’s eating up your soul. Letting go of some people is the hardest. I’m happy I’ve got to meet some of them before I leave. But nothing compares to my homies in Bacolod.
I’ve been here in Manila for a month and a few days since the last week of August. Mom and I were processing our visas and because of the delay, we had to cancel our flight back to Bacolod which changed our plans. Good thing was, it got issued weeks before my birthday with no questions asked. Because mom is the type of person who is nerbyosa, she had mixed emotions. She doesn’t know if she can live without my dad, and my dad without her also. That’s separation anxiety at its best.
To my close friends in Bacolod, again, I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to go home and say our goodbyes to each other. I always feel like something’s going on in the pit of my stomach whenever I think of this. I’ll definitely be back to see you guys again, hopefully for a vacation in a few years when I’ve saved enough money for the trip. It may be too cheesy for you guys for me to give each of you personal messages on Facebook, but I’ll try my hardest to accommodate every single one of you. I could have savored the days before I went to Manila and now I kinda regret it. I wish we could Skype or have FaceTime for some other time!
To my best friends, I’m sorry if this is all too sudden. I swear I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be calling you guys more often.
At home, I’m gonna miss my dad the most, even if he knows how much I hate him whenever he scolds me. My brother, who I have been the closest to even if he’s too stubborn and he makes our parents mad all the time. Lastly, Benz, my dog best friend in the house. AHAY. This is all too much. I feel like tearing up…
Our flight schedule will be on Thursday, October 17, 8PM in the evening, and we’ll be arriving at the Honolulu International Airport by 12NN. I’ve got four days left, and booked some of those days to have a despedida meet-up with my Manila homies. This is going to be fun and sad. Here’s a good thing though: I’ll be spending my 21st birthday there and it’s a great blessing.
When it rains, it pours. I’m always reminded by this quote by I-don’t-know-who as to my journey with mom here in Manila. We’ve had ups and downs. My iPod was stole at the underpass of Quiapo church the other day and I didn’t mind. All I knew was there were better things to come. But the Good Lord knows how to light up our way. That’s why I do not think of the rain as a sad thing or something to be cursed at, but rather yet, a blessing.
Prayers are powerful, I must say. God knows what you want and decides if it’s meant for you. If it’s not, then there’s no reason for us to lose hope. We earn these experiences and live by it.
Five days from now, I see a better future ahead of me, and I hope you’ll go through it with me. My family, friends and colleagues, this is not goodbye. Our stories don’t end right here. I’ll see you guys real soon and hope to make wonderful memories with each other.